Fuck you to that Black girl who told me that I talked like a White girl, triggering the land slide that became my life.
Fuck you to whoever came up with using “Oreo” to describe Black kids like me, a term I used to proudly refer to myself. Fuck you to my friends who accepted that and told me regularly that I wasn’t actually black. Fuck you to my high school self for agreeing with them. Fuck you to movie and film directors for never having a Black protagonist who was well-spoken, shy, and liked video games and Doctor Who and YA fiction. Fuck you to my ex-boyfriend who acted as if dating a Black girl was an exotic adventure. Also, fuck you to every who has ever looked at me weird for having a white boyfriend. Fuck you to my mom for saying that I dressed like white girl, I wish I had asked her how the fuck to dress like a black girl. Fuck you to my boyfriend’s fiend who continues to call me white despite my boyfriend asking him not to. Fuck him for apologizing for one thing he had done but the telling me he won’t stop calling me White because he’s always done it and he thinks it’s harmless.
Fuck me for accepting that and telling him that it’s okay because my fear of confrontation kept me from making a scene and explaining to him why I’d rather him stop.. Fuck society for creating my association between being black and rap music, uneducation, and sports. Fuck you to my Black college friends who tell me that I’m actually White. Fuck me for being too scared of scaring them off to correct them. Fuck me for blaming others for my ignorance and idiocy.
Fuck you to the Black girl who told me in the 6th grade that I talked like a White girl and made me feel like there was something wrong with me for the better half of my life. My personality does not determine my race.